Painting

Sometimes I wonder why I continue going to school.  Most of the time I'm just struggling to make the grade.  After my first semester here at BYU-Idaho I told myself it would take a miracle for me to come back in fact I almost dropped out a week into my second semester.  Luckily I found a friend that literally saved me.  My best semester was my third semester up here, my fourth wasn't bad either except that I wasn't actually up here I took all my classes online.  It has proven that one friend can make all the difference.  This past year has proven to be hard even though classes have gotten better now that I don't really have to read anything or take any tests, but it's been hard not having a really close friend.

It's not that you actually do anything with a close friend in fact thats the point you don't really do anything you're just able to do nothing and it's great, or talk with them without them trying to always one up you on things.

Anyway, my point to all this is that I really could have used a close friend this weekend, it's been a hard one.  Everything I've tried doesn't seem to be quit right.  Now back to the reason why I've titled this post "Painting," there is something about painting that I finally realize why I'm majoring in art, because most of the time I'm so frustrated and anxious about it I really don't enjoy it much, but when I'm able to close my bedroom door turn on some music and paint by myself without anyone or especially a teacher watching I'm finally able to think, to enjoy life, to forget anything that is making me frustrated, and rime flys by.  The sad part is that it doesn't last.  Eventually I have to put the brush down, face life, and try to make it through another long week.